Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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