do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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