Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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