I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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