At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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