Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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