Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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