I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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