A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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