I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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