It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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