Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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