I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize