not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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