do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize