I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
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its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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