She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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