I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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