A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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