He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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