So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
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She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
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I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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