She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize