there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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