I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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