$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I think my moral compass just broke
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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