Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize