shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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