I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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