Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize