you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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