I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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