East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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