Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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