that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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