YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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