i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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