i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
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It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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