I accidentally had phone sex last night
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
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If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
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I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I would ride that face into the sunset
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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