she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
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I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
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We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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