no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize