your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
She's JV to your varsity
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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