my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize