I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
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He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
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I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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