i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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