She even gives head with a lisp.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize