Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize