If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
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When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
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Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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