god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize