There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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