i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize