there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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