that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize